62. THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS

62. THE FEARLESS VAMPIRE KILLERS
(1967)
Directed by Roman Polanski

Legendary Polish genius and fugitive from justice Roman Polanski made this as a tribute to the series of vampire films released by Hammer that started with "Horror of Dracula" in 1958. The Hammer films are important and classic and they had a lot of red stuff and Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing and the directorial skills of Terence Fisher and, later, some snickering Ingrid Pitt action, but "The Fearless Vampire Killers" beats them all. Originally titled "Dance of the Vampires" it was released after Polanski's initial horror film "Repulsion" (1965) and a year before his horror triumph "Rosemary's Baby" (1968). The story follows two less than efficient vampire killers, one of them played by Roman himself, and has some very funny moments but, unlike many forgettable full blown spoofs of the undead, this is more of a horror film than a comedy, more of a fan's ode to bloodsuckers than a satire. The problem with many of those exalted Hammer flicks is that they become unintentionally silly in all their stately seriousness. What Polanski managed to do with his contribution was to craft a beautifully filmed homage that rises above his sources of inspiration with wit and snow and fangs and a memorable finale. On a final note, Sharon Tate, at the height of her beauty, appears in the role of vampire victim just a few years before those smelly hippies known as the Manson family ended her life.

63. THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM

63. THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM
(1961)
Directed by Roger Corman

Roger Corman's Poe cycle consisted of seven films, beginning with "The Fall of the House of Usher" in 1960, continuing with "The Pit and the Pendulum"(1961),"The Premature Burial" (1961), "The Raven" (1963), "The Terror" (1963), and finally culminating in 1964 with the two that many horror fans regard as the best, "The Tomb of Ligeia" and "Masque of the Red Death". All of these have their merits but it's number two in the cycle that makes an appearance on this esteemed list, primarily because it offers horror fans the treat of seeing the reigning Prince of Horror, Vincent Price, alongside the rising Queen of Horror, Barbara Steele. Barbara had recently completed the Mario Bava directed "Black Sunday" and plays the role of an unfaithful and conniving spouse in "The Pit and the Pendulum" (a role that she would be cast in more than a few times in the following years). But Barbara is given very limited screen time and it's 'ol Vincent who steals the show. A sophisticated actor with that demented and somewhat queer voice, Vincent Price was a master at portraying a man touched by madness and spiraling into lunacy.

64. THE COMPANY OF WOLVES

64. THE COMPANY OF WOLVES
(1984)
Directed by Neil Jordan

Angela Carter, a woman of great talent and imagination, passed into death back in 1992 but not before leaving us with some amazing books. The early novel "The Magic Toyshop" and the later novel "Nights at the Circus" are highly regarded but her little masterpiece is a collection of short stories called "The Bloody Chamber". Three of these stories ("The Werewolf", "The Company of Wolves" and "Wolf-Alice") are the basis for this movie collaboration with director Neil Jordan. At it's core is the old Little Red Riding Hood fable all dressed up in a new red cloak. Angela Carter enjoyed empowering the female characters of old fairy tales and in the process was able to infuse the familiar stories with new and often erotically charged meaning. I strongly suggest you create a space on your bookshelf for "The Bloody Chamber" but if you'd like to begin with a visual introduction to Angela's world then by all means watch this exceptional film which manages to capture some of the book's dark spirit. Neil Jordan would go on to direct other movies of interest, including the visually rich but mildly disappointing "Interview with a Vampire" (1994).

65. SALEM'S LOT

65. SALEM'S LOT
(1979)
Directed by Tobe Hooper

Did horror fans in 1979 realize how lucky they were? Not only did they get Cronenberg's "The Brood" from Canada, Fulci's "Zombi 2" from Italy, Herzog's "Nosferatu, the Vampyre" from Germany and Ridley Scott's "Alien" from right here in the United States all on the big screen, they also got Tobe Hooper's adaptation of the Stephen King bloodsucking classic "Salem's Lot" on the goddamn television! Exploring the themes of vampirism as a plague and the insular small town as a trap, this is quite a creepy little tale. I saw it as a kid when it aired for the first time and Danny Glick scratchin' at the windowpane haunted me for years. I would actually torment my little sister and her friends with my imitation of the floating Glick boy in twilight backyard games until our parents had heard enough screaming for the day and called us in. In addition to those pleasant associations, "Salem's Lot" the novel was the first 'adult' novel I read in it's entirety as a youngster on a family camping trip to northern Michigan and I suppose my ongoing adoration certainly has some roots in nostalgia but this really is Stephen King at his best. Truly one of television's finest moments.

66. RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD

66. RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD
(1985)
Directed by Dan O'Bannon

Where does one begin when singing the praises of this accomplished piece of cinematic kicks? Well, I guess you could start with the sick humor ("It's not weasels in the bags", "Send more paramedics" etc.) and then continue by mentioning that there's naked graveyard dancing, punks getting devoured by zombies and punks in turn wasting zombies (glorious 1980's punks, might I add, including the black cat with a Rick James mullet), and if you can get past the mostly cheeseball 80's soundtrack (songs by the Cramps and Roky Erickson being two big BIG exceptions) then what you have is a zombie movie that just can't lose. As a sequel to "Night of the Living Dead" this movie succeeds because it refuses to be serious, even when characters are moaning through the pains of rigor mortis on their way to zombiehood. It's pure high octane comic book entertainment (an approach that also worked well in another sequel with a daunting predecessor released the following year, "Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Part Two"). "Life is short and it's filled with stuff, so let me know, baby, when you've had enough..."

67. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON

67. AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
(1981)
Directed by John Landis

I've always been fond of this movie because it succeeds with a tricky endeavor by walking the creaking plank between horror and humor without going overboard. The horror elements are truly horrific, especially the explicit transformation sequence and the nightmare of the ravenous Nazi werewolves, and the jokes, morbid and generally unobtrusive, are pretty goddamn funny. Let me say right here that even though this is one of only two werewolf movies on my list I have nothing against werewolves. It just seems that this hairy monster has yet to be given the grand cinematic treatment it deserves. "The Werewolf of London" (1935) "The Wolf Man" (1941) "I Was a Teenage Werewolf" (1957) and especially "The Howling" (1980) all have their moments, for sure, and recent takes on the old legend like the very impressive "Ginger Snaps" (2001) and the surprisingly good "Dog Soldiers" (2002) are encouraging and may gain lofty stature over time, but this hirsute shapeshifter has in most part been sadly underserved. I have a hunch that the greatest werewolf movie of them all is yet to be made but for now we can revisit "An American Werewolf in London" and that isn't so bad.

68. THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME

68. THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME
(1932)
Directed by Ernest B. Schoedsack and Irving Pichel

One lesson a person learns quickly when taking a furtive look around at the history of horror films, from the masterful efforts to the sub-par crapola variety, is that the monster is ever present and the monster has many faces. More often than not the monster has a human face and such is the case in "The Most Dangerous Game". Based on the Richard Connell short story of the same name we meet the villain in his opulent castle digs on a remote island where he manages to lure unsuspecting ships to crash on the rocks. Those who survive their capsizing meet the villain (who has the appropriately villainous name of Count Zaroff) and become a part of his bloody pastime. He is a hunter who has bagged every dangerous animal he can think of and now gets his kicks hunting people, lopping off their heads for trophies. Heart fluttering eye candy is provided in the delicious form of Fay Wray who is enchanting even if, and especially when, she's under duress. Spooky swamps, strange menace, big suspense- this is an overlooked exotic trinket from horrors golden age.

69. HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES

69. HOUSE OF 1,000 CORPSES
(2003)
Directed by Rob Zombie

It's fitting to begin the countdown with the most recently released movie on this list and, furthermore, with such a shameless tribute to screen horrors that came before. There's nothing new as far as the story is concerned but Mr. Zombie has crammed so many great visuals into this gaudy package that it's not easy to dismiss. "House of 1,000 Corpses" is a nasty little valentine to monster kids, a gift from one rabid horror fan to the rest of us. As I said before there's nothing really groundbreaking here but it's a cheap, rickety, and garish funhouse ride, crafted as a twisted and messy salute to an older breed of shock theatre by a director who is steeped in the stuff and who clearly takes his horror business seriously. Big bonus points are given for the Halloween setting and for steering clear of computer generated effects by doing gore the old fashioned way. The casting (Sid Haig, Karen Black, Bill Moselley) is also a treat for devoted mavens of the monstrous.

An Introduction

(The following incarnation of "Johnny Refund's Dreadful 69" was originaly published in 2003 on the Mephisto Waltz website, and although a couple years out of date, and according to the author "in need of a massive overhaul," I still feel it has enough relavance to be worthwhile posting here) --- Your ever loving editor

I could blame it all on Sir Graves Ghastly. As an awkward and pale little boy I saw him rise out of his velvet lined coffin, heard his sinister laugh and felt a stirring of excitement deep inside that reverberates through me to this day. I never saw Sir Graves in person, only on the big bulky television in my parent's house, but when that coffin lid creaked open on Saturday afternoons I was planted against good advice just a few feet from the screen anxious to see what new horror classic my hero was going to dust off. Sir Graves was a fixture on Detroit television (Channel 2, WJBK) through the 1970's and into the early 1980's. He, like other horror show hosts in other cities, introduced brave children to the misty and menacing world of the old cobweb classics, wheeling out Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, the Mummy and the Werewolf in front of our fascinated eyes, finishing each treat by climbing back into his coffin and wishing us "Happy haunting!" before letting the lid drop for another seven days. Later I would discover horror in literature and horror in music but my introduction to the genre was movies. The following list is a document of my favorites as of the Halloween season, 2003. These are just favorites, just opinions, and what has been pointed out about the common element of opinions and assholes is true- everybody has one. So administer yourself that grain of salt right now. Monsters are coming and monsters are here. The ghosts have found the staircase and that's where they will drift. The Devil is shining up his pitchfork with a greasy rag and the sleep of reason is commencing. So, my dear, remove that batch of garlic that's hanging by your window and let's get down to business.